To My Friends Without Kids:

To friends without kids

We used to travel a lot, leave the house without a fight and without worrying about nap time or snacks or whether our toddler will have a melt down.

Becoming a mother has meant lot of things, and one of those things has been losing old friends who don’t have kids and gaining new mommy friends.

I love how you can go up to any mom and immediately have something to talk about and bond over. Mom’s have this mutual understanding that we love our babies unconditionally, and that they always come first.

And mostly, moms just know what life with kids is like.

Like how you shouldn’t really come over during those sacred nap times and you most likely have to be home to put the kids to bed by 6pm. And that you are probably in bed shortly after that yourself (or at least you want to be).

It’s not that I don’t miss my old friends. I do. I miss all those good times and memories that go along with it. But there are just some things you don’t understand about my life now. And I’m not blaming you…one day you will know what I mean.

So, to my friends without kids, this is what I need you to know:

1) Going out for dinner without the kids requires a lot of strategic planning. A lot.

I’m still breastfeeding, so leaving the kids any time before bed time means I have to pump and pray that the baby will take to the bottle. And, I hate pumping. I have to weigh whether it’s really worth it to pump, leave baby with Daddy, pray he survives putting both kids to sleep, go out with you, and hope I don’t fall asleep at the table. Can’t you please just swing by my place before you go out instead?

2) I’ll probably fall asleep at the table.

3) You have no idea what long term sleep deprivation feels like. At any point in the day, ask me how I am, and my honest answer would be I’m exhausted. I’m dying to ask you to come watch the kids so I can get 30 minutes uninterrupted sleep.

4) I would absolutely love if you came to visit me. Please bring food, coffee, diapers…. instead of expecting me to feed you.

5) I can’t really remember what it was like before kids. So it’s kind of hard for me to relate to 99% of the things you are doing in life right now. It’s not that I don’t want to hear about your life, it’s just we are in two different worlds.

6) On that same note, I kind of want to live vicariously through you. I’m pretty jealous that you get to plan that vacation for next week and sleep in whenever you want to.

7) I like that I get a break from kid-talk when we hang out. But, I feel a bit naked without my kids. So, I’m sorry if that’s where the conversation creeps to even when they aren’t around. 🙂

Seriously though, I still love you, but we may not see each other much over the next few years.

And overall, I’m just really jealous you could go home and nap right now.



Modern Dad Pages

3 thoughts on “To My Friends Without Kids:

  1. Fab post 🙂

    I would love to say some of these things to my friends who are childless. Agreed, going out for a meal nowadays is such an effort and I am so tired by about 7pm that I never really want to go out even if I can anyway!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I so get this, I was the first of my friends to have a baby and then had to go back to work! I felt very isolated for a few years. Your comment about bring nappies and not expect me to feed you made me nod my head furiously, yes childless friends please remember this one especially! X


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